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Life application of psychology: how psychology helped me

Abstract

Psychology deals with mental processes and how we behave. Our behavior is a reaction to certain stimuli. In relation to our mental process, psychologist are able understand and diagnose mental disorders such as ADHD in children as its first signs present themselves in younger years. I will illustrate how this introduction to Psychology has helped me better relate to others, keep my emotions in check and handle stressful situations

Understanding Others

For a long time even now, I wondered why people do certain things or have such harsh reactions to others thoughts or opinions. I watched and listened for months as a friend struggled with relationship issues. I was a shoulder to cry on, a counselor when needed and even a wingman so to speak. Even in all of that, my attempts to give my friend the benefit of my experience was futile. Learning about cognition and humanistic psychology helped me understand mainly that individuals comprehend and process information differently. How I view life is different than how my neighbor views life. That would be indirect correlation to how my experiences shaped me versus how theirs shaped them. No two people even under very similar circumstances will have the same thoughts about a particular incident or subject. Cognitive psychology relates specifically with the internal mental process. My perception of what was being said to me had many fixes or so I thought. The reality of that is, my experience dealing with certain things are unique to me and how my brain processes information and obstacle that are thrown at me. At best what I was doing was being empathetic and not actually helping with her issue. Understanding that even when your best problem solving methods are given, others will only become aware or understand when they are in tune and sense with appreciation what information is being given to them.

Emotional Reactions

Sometimes life isn’t fair. I was passed up for a promotion, a new person came in doing the same job as me and is getting paid more money and now it seems I am not doing a very good job in my current position. Maybe these are normal thoughts of people that work in corporate America, but these are my thoughts as they are what I have been experiencing for the last two months. I discovered this quote on social media about a month ago and it stuck with me. “ You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you…”- Warren Buffet. This quote embedded with my teachings have given me an understanding on my Emotional Intelligence (EI) as it relates to self-awareness. There are five characteristics of EI according to Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence, self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. As it relates to self-awareness, I have become more aware of how I respond to the things that affect my mental state. When it comes to my job, I understand that despite how I feel I can change any situation to have a better outcome.  I have determined my opportunity areas and put plans in place to enhance my performance. I learned to control my impulsive thoughts to becoming upset at negative feedback and look for courses that help me advance in my current position as I work towards a career in psychology. Being empathetic to the needs of the business, I can better understand my role and the position I play on the team which helps to make the business unit a success.

Is Stress that Bad

According to Albrecht (1979) there are four types of stress.  Time, anticipatory, situational, and encounter. While we all experience stress on some level we can mitigate stress to a large degree by using established methods to manage it.  When we know what kind of stress we are facing we are better able to manage it. The biggest stressor for me is time. I have so much to do and it seems as if there is very little time to do it. Having two school age children in sports, a full time job and now adding school on that my time nearly nonexistent.  To someone who is great at time management they may not see this as a stress point which leads me to how I alleviate my time stress. I have found it very affective to plan and to make list. When I can arrange for school clothes to be out at night, bags packed and placed at the door I add back at least ten minutes to my morning when getting the kids out the door. I can’t always do this as circumstances don’t always allow me to but this one method has been affective in my home. I work in the insurance industry and making list to get projects complete is a constant reminder of what needs to be done and what still needs to be done. Not all stress is bad when managed it can be easily be handled and looked at as just another thing to do.

References

  • Albrecht, Karl. (1979). Stress and The Manager. Englewood Cliffs, N. J.: Prentice-Hall, 1979. Print.
  • Cherry, Kendra (2019)-Overview of Emotional Intelligence. www. verywellmind. com/what-is-emotional-intelligence-2795423
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