Relationships

Relationships By Richard Holl (Copied from my blog Please listen, http://indigo-energy. blogspot. com/p/relationships. html) It is fitting that the last page I add to this  blog is  relationships.   No man or woman is an island even if they choose to live like a hermit.  There are two relationships no one can avoid. The first is between you and the universe or if you prefer, your environment. The second is between your sense of self and your sense of others and other things which is sometimes referred to as our spirit. In most cases, when I use the term spirit it refers to our unique form of energy that continues on after the death of our physical bodies.   For those of you who are atheists and reading this, it is totally within reason to believe we have a sense of others and other things and there is no God or no spirit that lives beyond physical death. If you chose to believe that our sense of others and other things begins and ends with the birth and death of the human body, by all means please do. No one can tell you otherwise until we prove a spirit exists after physical death.  When we do prove it those who are atheists will accept the new found information far faster than western religion will accept reincarnation. Look how long it has taken for Christianity to accept the possibility of evolution even if it is by God’s hands.  Theistic evolution still is not accepted by the fundamentalist churches of the world. Aside from existentialist views that everything is an illusion, no one  questions their relationship to their environment which is  the  universe. Most spend very little time studying it. The overwhelming  presence of  most of it, we can do nothing about. If we could not see starlight we would not have known of  it’s existence until we discovered radio.   Stop and think about what the world would be like today if we could not see the light from the stars.   There is no real reason why we should be able to see it. The photons that light up our night sky have no effect on us or this planet or do they? Obviously celestial navigation would not have been possible which would have had a huge impact on early exploration but we don’t need starlight for things  to grow or cause atmospheric changes or ocean currents. I don’t know how many people know this but the human eye is capable of resolving a single photon of light which also happens to be the smallest particle we know of.   I did not say sub particle.    That should make most people curious. It does make a few pursue physics as a career. Since we can see the smallest particle in the universe that is produced by distant stars, there is  no way we can deny we  do have a relationship with  the universe whether we spend  a lot of time thinking about  it or  studying it. It should be studied more. I hope to accomplish that in the lifetime I have remaining. I hope I can inspire others to do the same. There are answers there. We do not have to take everything on faith. When we go to bed and wake up in the morning  we can’t see starlight  but we  can see the environment  we  live in and the two are related. The asteroid  that  created the Gulf of Mexico and annihilated the dinosaurs didn’t fall out of our sky.   We haven’t done a real good job of taking care of the environment we live in. As we gain the skills needed to travel from one solar system to the next, hopefully we will become better stewards of  all environments. I don’t expect anyone other than the scientists, who dedicate themselves to trying to understand the universe and the environment we live in, to pay any attention to the one relationship none of us can ever be free from in our current form but our life on this planet could be made a lot easier if we did.   Relationships that are largely ignored rarely work out. Now for the second relationship we all have to deal with  during our physical life or lives, our sense of self and our sense of others and other things.   All that we can be comes from our sense of others and other things. All that we don’t want to be can come from our sense of self.   It is a relationship that finds itself in conflict in most of us but the two need each other. Our sense of self seeks pleasure and reward  using our senses. Our sense of others and other thing uses our senses to inspire our emotions abilities, knowledge and talents.   It’s a relationship that lasts a lifetime and there is no divorce. Our sense of self can choose to ignore our sense of others and other things and tends to do so. It is why we have to meditate which sometimes comes in the form of prayer. In most people their sense of self is running the show and their sense of others has to go along for the ride and  do what it can when it can. In some people the sense of others is running the show and their sense of self has to go along for the ride.   When their sense of others is in charge,   self sacrifice  in the interest of all mankind  is not a problem.   Sacrifice and martyrdom happen too many be it on the cross or by an assassin’s bullet.    This is not a choice most of are expected to make nor one we should decide to make. It really is a calling and the source doesn’t matter be it God, the universe, or the Great Poobah.   Those that are called are obvious when we find them among us.    Ideally, for most of us, there should be a balance between the dualities of our conscious mind when possible. It is actually more of a teeter totter which responds to the events in all of our lives. If all this sounds like we all tend to be schizophrenics we are. Keeping that in mind,   we need to look at the way we treat the condition when it does get out of hand. Recognizing we will all spend our lives trying to keep the two in balance goes a long way towards treating those we consider mentally ill. To help me  help you understand the conflict between the two I am going to use a very popular movie  that epitomizes the conflict. The producer and director and the writers of this movie had to have known their story was about the conflict between the two because of the visual clues  that are such an integral part of the movie. If they did not,   then it  shows us all how subtle our sense of others and other things can be  in getting the message out. The movie is Cast Away released in 2000,  starring Tom Hanks and a volley ball in the main roles. Those of you who have a solid connection to your sense of others know exactly what my points are going to be. Those of you who do not are going to be scratching your heads trying to see a connection. How much of a mystery what I am about to say is, depends on how well you are connected to your sense of others. You can choose not to believe that but this is a great opportunity for everyone to learn something about themselves. This movie is not about being stranded on an island after a plane crash. This movie is about a man who had a good life but was not in touch with his sense of others. Hardship, like it has in so many cases, was the key in connecting to his sense of others but it was a struggle for sure and the connection didn’t happen easily and almost didn’t happen at all. During  most of the movie the clues or signs  were right in front of him but he could not see them but he did see just enough to finish the journey.   Hanks character Chuck Noland is a type A driven person typical of  most who have a weak connection to their sense of others, Their sense of importance, possessions and relations appear to make them happy  but underneath  they are always looking  for that something that’s missing. Maybe  the job that no one else wants to do or can do  will fill the need  so  off they go to battle another wind mill.   Of course they find no satisfaction. They ultimately find themselves alone on an island wondering why things  never seem to work out.   Something is missing and then they see a volley ball and paint a face on it  in their own blood and call out it’s name, Wilson.   Obviously Wilson was more than an inanimate object but what was he?   Look at that face,   It is the face of a spirit and their sense of others.   Wilson is Noland’s spirit but he is holding it in his hand and talking to it like it is another person. That’s not where it belongs but he recognizes it and knows how important to him it is. In the back of his mind he also knows as long as he holds it in his hand  he can’t lose it but  once he lets go  it may not be there again. Chuck also had a guardian angel with him on that island. We always do, be it real or simply a figment of our imagination, but, like his spirit, he did not recognize it for what it was even though it had a pair of glorious wings on it.   No connection here  either but something told him it too was important. It wasn’t Wilson. Wilson couldn’t talk to him but the sense of others Wilson represented could.   He vowed if he ever got off the island he was going to deliver the package with the wings on it and left it unopened. Fate finally releases the man from his island prison in the form of a portable toilet no less which I think is one of the greatest  pieces of  film ever made. As he sails off to who knows where he loses his spirit again in his mind and almost drowns trying to get it back.   Wilson is gone but his sense of others is now where it should be and always has been. A visit from one of the most majestic creatures in the world drives the point home. His journey is not over. Upon his return to civilization  he finds  there is nothing left of his old life. It is gone forever except for a truck he had just bought before leaving. His slate was clean. He no longer was the man he used to be, he was like a baby again and he had his guardian angel in the form of a Fedex box with a pair of  majestic wings  on it. He set out to deliver that box and to thank the person  the box was for,   for being instrumental in giving him the drive he needed to get off the island but there was no one at home. He leaves the box with a note on it and drives off. Chuck has found his sense of others and he has finished the  task he had set out to do and he arrives at a crossroads in his life with no idea of where to go or what his life is going to be. His life’s plans were now in the hands of his spirit and fate when a girl driving a pick up truck stopped and asked if he needed directions. She told him his options and, as she drove off, he noticed the wings on the back of her truck matched the wings on the box  and there was  no doubt in your mind, as the credits rolled across the screen, which road  Chuck Noland chose that day.   Of course the  producer and director of the film had put in a clip that let  us know the young lady was available, Did the people who put this movie together recognize the story they were telling or did their spirit guide their hand  in the making of it?   Do they even know which? Do you? Everyone of us has a relationship with their sense of others and other things, It happens naturally as a newborn. There is no sense of self  to compete with. Our spirit or sense of others  spends the first year  building the  brain and conscious mind of its new body. For years medical science has been puzzled about  how and why the  human brain develops  in a newborn. There is no mystery here. It is one of the clues that points to reincarnation but this is about relationships. Our sense of self develops  quickly and it has the priority as it is  part of the physical body. The ego is created in the physical body and it will die with the physical body. The spirit  will go on as energy if you believe in spiritual existence beyond physical death.   Is that energy a part of  a higher power or just another piece of a vast universe? Each of us  has to  figure that out for ourselves but our spirit, should it exist,   is energy and energy is eternal. Energy  does attain a state of entropy but it is still energy. The thoughts you hear  inside your head in your own voice  all come from your sense of self. Your sense of others and other things communicates via your unconscious mind and your sense of self chooses whether to listen.   To get a  clean connection to our sense of others we  meditate .   Think back to Wilson staring up at  Chuck. Wilson does not speak. Chuck’s sense of self speaks for him. There are  three  states  that identify our relationship to our spirit.   In state one Chuck, in a fit of anger, kicks Wilson  into the jungle. Wilson is still there but Chuck can’t see him and Chuck gets no input from Wilson. In this state Chuck  is capable of horrendous acts of mayhem. Six million Jews can be  put to death  when we kick our sense of others into the woods.   In state two Wilson is always where Chuck can see him and talk to him. Wilson gives him comfort but Wilson can’t talk to him but he can influence him and Chuck’s emotions  become connected to Wilson. He picks Wilson up in his hand  and feels the connection but Wilson is in his hand and not his mind.   The majority of the people on this planet  are stuck in state two. Like the movie it usually takes trauma, disease or danger for us to reach state 3 and  finally allow Wilson to be where he belongs. To do that we have to release Wilson from the second state. This is very difficult because, to let Wilson go,   our sense of self has to relinquish total control. It wants Wilson, it knows it is not whole without Wilson but  it doesn’t want to accept the emotional connections that come with allowing Wilson to become a partner and not a subordinate. In the movie Chuck comes damn close to dying before he releases Wilson from stage 2. He even lets go of life in the form of a rope connected to his raft before coming to his senses. That is how strong our sense of self is.   The consensus is that depression is the sole reason for suicide.  It is a huge factor but suicide is the ultimate act our sense of self can perform. It releases our spirit but our spirit has no place to come back to. Our sense of self wins, the battle is over.       That night Wilson comes back to Chuck  on the wings of a whale. He can’t see Wilson anymore but he was never supposed to see him in the first place. Wilson is where he was meant to be, partnered with Chucks sense of self in his conscious mind. From that moment on fate, purpose of ego  and Wilson  control Chucks destiny. He finds himself at the crossroads of his life and the right path becomes obvious. Every person on this planet is on the same journey Chuck Roland was.   The question you have to ask yourself is, do you know where your Wilson is? Due to  American slang I wish  that Wilson had been a Nike but the producers  of the movie had no idea I would be using it in my analogy. Maybe a little humor might  not be a bad thing. Please think about where your sense of others is. It is your relationship and your sense of self  is in the drivers seat.    That brings us to human relationships and now you have a choice. You have a lot of choices  because  there are  many forms of human relationships. Some we choose. Some are forced upon us by the  jobs we do and the  families we inherit after we form our sexual  relationships.    All depend on how balanced the relationship between our conscious mind is.   There are millions of books about relationships with our fellow human beings so I don’t have a lot to add.   I do have a few observations.   First there is no way to predict how any person will interact with their children. I have seen people who have  little or no emotional connection to others that have an instant bond  when they  start having children. I have seen what I thought were  compassionate people  be unbelievable cruel to their own children.  What we cannot do is  make excuses for those who mistreat children. Children are defenseless and we all have the responsibility to see they are treated with compassion. People who mistreat children need to be brought to task for it even if they are in your own family or close friends. The best advice I can give is find your sense of others first and then find your mate. Odds are your respective Wilsons  will roll through life together a lot better if you do.   Take a vow to minimize the mayhem  you cause  in this life. Self defense is not mayhem but  know its self defense and it usually isn’t if you have to spend a lot of time thinking about it. The last relationship on this list is one very few people on this planet ever think about. My mission in the life I have remaining is to  make more people aware of this relationship. It is the relationship we have to our species.   I call it species identity and it is sorely lacking in the world we live in.   Think about it. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in creation or evolution a lot of work has gone into  creating our species. To the best of our knowledge we are the highest life form in the universe. It’s a big universe. I do not believe we live in it alone but, until we make contact, we have no proof other life forms exist at the same level we do or higher. We are the highest  life form in this universe and look at the way we treat each other. There are a lot of people out there serving those that are trapped in poverty, lack of education and sometimes famine. Some give money, Others give  their time and some do both but any of them will tell you that what they do is apply band aid’s. Yes some get helped but the problems that led to their plight  remain the same. Most of us  could care less when the  people afflicted are not in our own families, our  neighborhood, our community or on the evening news. There is not one valid reason why there should be one person on this planet who has no food. no shelter, no medical aid or no opportunity for an education unless they refuse any help offered.    If someone like me presses the issue the  usual response is, “ Well what in hell can I do about it? ”  I’m glad you asked. We can all  start working on our relationship to our species. A lot of the injustices in the world are the result of mayhem. Mayhem could stop tomorrow if we all chose to stop it in our own lives,  Easier said than done but  we could all take one of the  first steps by vowing to never  call mayhem chaos. I cover that in another section of this blog. We all need to feel responsible for the tragedies in the world we live in when they result from mayhem. That brings us to natural disasters.   Surely we have no responsibility there. The problem is we do. As the most advanced life form in the universe we could  accomplish great things like control the weather. We could learn how to prevent major earthquakes and volcanic explosions. Our  species is all on a very small boat in a very large ocean. If we would get serious about our species, we would start working  on spreading out more than we are. We are the only living entity that  is aware of our existence. We can and do contemplate life and its meaning.   The rest of the creatures  interface by instinct and routine. We do not know of  another species that contemplates its own existence.   We have little or no species identity but we have all the tools to make it part of all our lives. Those of us with species identity find ourselves embarking on a mission. I would love to see a lot more people join us.   Stop and think about the moments in history when species identity  has come to the surface. The civil rights movement and the outrage against the war in Vietnam are two recent examples in this country. Men like Mandela and Gandhi commit themselves to human rights which is another way of saying species identity.   The course of mankind has been changed many times in the past  by those that  pick up the banner  and  it can happen again and again and again until  it is part of our lives forever.. Connections For centuries we have contemplated our existence.   Religions, philosophies, theosophy’s and  other concepts to numerous to mention  wax and wane in  our cultures. Some  have become traditional but there is no belief  today that is safe from the discovery of new knowledge. It is one reason why so many resist new knowledge and  some consider  new knowledge the work of an evil demons out to deliberately cloud our minds to reality. What ever the truth may be, there is only one truth for the current environment we  all find ourselves in.   Are there other universes, either parallel or  totally separate from this one, where we may or may not exist also? There could be but the man  with his foot in a bear trap  only cares about  that trap and, until we figure out  our current  existence, do all the other possibilities even matter?   I don’t think they do. We can cross those bridges later. The more beliefs we have, the greater the  chance that the ones we have are not the reality we find ourselves in.    Why is this so difficult? Practically everything   about our existence is open to conjecture. There is no limit to our imaginations.   For all our progress in science and technology and our ability to gather and process information  it appears, on the surface  at least, that the understanding of our existence  grows even more complex.   It appears that way, but the fact is, if one takes the time to study a lot of it, there are amazing similarities between all beliefs regarding our existence in our current environment.   The reason is simple.   We are all getting the same message. There is only one truth for each of our personal journeys so there is only one message. That message can come from  observing  our environment, God, an intelligent universe, aliens, the hall of records, the Greek Gods or any other number of sources one wants to  attribute it to. What is obvious is we are all hearing it differently and the reason I believe we do is based on how our conscious mind works. Mine has been altered by what appears to have been a near death experience (NDE). I cannot say for certain because I do not remember the event. If it happened it happened while I was under deep sedation for a repair to the trigeminial bundle in my brain stem.   The procedure, which uses very deep sedation to perform, involves inserting a needle into the brain stem and inflating a balloon to compress  the area and desensitizing it.   I suffered from trigeminial neuralgia for three years prior to having this procedure and it eliminated my pain but it also drastically altered my life.   I discuss the changes in my life in other sections of this blog and in two other blogs I have but what happened to me is far better described in the NDE web site.  I have submitted my case for their review.  The surgeon who performed the procedure acknowledged the sedation used could very well be a factor in what has happened to me. One of the  more dramatic results has been the acquisition of what I believe is new knowledge. I am certainly not the first to experience new knowledge. Many believe that new knowledge comes solely from education but that is not true. New knowledge also comes from intuition especially when there is limited or incorrect knowledge regarding a given subject.   Thomas Edison was living proof  if one needs proof. The man very possibly was the most intuitive person who ever lived.   His education was limited to the things he was researching. He did learn the basics from his mother who home schooled him into his late preteen years.   Intuition can also provide the initiative to pursue an education because  there is no need to reinvent the wheel. Knowledge is only new if there is no record of it existing anywhere else. A young man walks into a classroom and hands his teacher something he has been working on which he believes has value. It turns out to be the theory of algorithms and the teacher is amazed when he  realizes this young man has developed algorithms all on his own with no prior knowledge of them. It happens, probably a lot more than many people realize. All any of us can do with new knowledge is  hand it to others. Either it is a false observation or you are not the first to think of it.   Is that grounds to keep it to yourself? New knowledge changes our world and the perception of our world and if it isn’t new, you can bet that young man  went on to a very productive career in mathematics. The  huge problem new knowledge faces is it often contradicts old knowledge and far too many times  we find excuses not to pay attention to it and we end up suffering ignorance and even  illness and death  because it contradicted what we think we believe. I believe this new knowledge I have  opens a new approach to the field of psychiatry and the workings of our universe. I can find no record of it anywhere else and no one has stepped forward and told me  it is false information. I will keep trying to hand it to people until one or both happens. If neither happens I will continue even if  it isn’t taken seriously in my remaining life time. If it is false, I will want to see the proof. Some say that all we experience and sense is an illusion and there is good reason to say that. The reason is there is a one sided power struggle that never ends between our sense of self and our sense of others and other things. It is critical that  anyone reading this does not make the mistake of substituting ego for a sense of self. Ego is a trait exclusive to a sense of self  but it is only a trait  and, as such, is a subset of our conscious minds sense of self. The same applies to calling our sense of self our physical mind. Once again our physical mind is a subset of our sense of self. All of our sensory input makes up our physical mind and  there is very little difference between our physical mind and the physical mind of any other animal when it comes to processing sensory input. Evolution dictates how our physical minds work but do not substitute physical mind for sense of self. I easily fell into the pit myself. The same warnings hold true when it comes to the sense of others or other things that makes up the other side of the human mind we call consciousness. Here the tendency is to substitute spirit for our sense of other things, There are many emotions associated with our sense of others  and many skills associated with our sense of other things. The question now becomes why not divide the conscious mind into three components not two?   Others  of course refers to other people. Other things refers to everything else but the emotions, traits and behaviors associated with our sense of others and others are closely intertwined. We can love another person and we can love watching football. Love is an emotion that covers others and other things and  a quick rundown of the emotions, traits and behaviors associated with our sense of others and other things shows how the two are closely connected. One final point before introducing the hypothesis  a conscious mind is made up of a basic duality. We need to make a distinction between how  a conscious mind works and why a conscious mind works. The tendency among all those in the field is to ask why not how. Focusing on why  means the how is being overlooked and it is my hypothesis that more effective treatments will come out of the how  instead of the why. Why is critical in fixing diseases like ALCS, dementia, Parkinson’s and all the other diseases of the brain. The same holds true for paranoia and other mental manifestations  for which there is not a lot of information. Understanding how the conscious mind works will lead to better treatment for anxiety, some forms of depression and other debilitating mental issues that have no foundation in any disease currently beyond our control.. Take a moment and perceive how you sense conscious thought. It is in the sound of your own voice as you hear it. You can do a little experiment. Using ear plugs vary how much you block the sound your ears can hear.   Think about something. Say something. You hear your thought as you say it in the same voice. By blocking your ears you can change the sound around what you hear but it is the same voice. Now think about how startled you were when you first heard your recorded voice. It is not you.   I remember how startled I was the first time I heard my own voice played back.   It made me think about whom and what I was.   Today we totally understand why this happens. It has been thoroughly researched.   The important thing is to recognize our conscious thoughts happen in what we perceive to be our own voice.    The reason that is so important is our conscious thoughts that do not involve sensory input are solely a function of our sense of self. Our sense of self is the one that has the direct connections to all our physical senses. Our sense of others and other things connects through our unconscious which is why I hypothesize the the connection happens  in our physical brain at a point on our brain stem. That connection is controlled by our sense of self. Our sense of self can turn off our connection to our sense of others anytime it chooses to do so. There is a huge sacrifice involved. The person who has switched off their brain stem connection is incapable of all the empathetic emotions that connect to our senses via our physical brain. If a person is a sociopath the switch is frozen in the off position. Our sense of self is not left without emotion. It brings it own set to the game, rage, greed, lust and power are the primary ones. It is why all the evil there is resides solely in our sense of self. It can easily compartmentalize when to allow access to our sense of others and other things.   The Nazi war criminal gassed people by day and went home to his loving family at night. Hard to imagine for most of us but we see it all the time. It should not be a mystery to anyone. What amazes me is how balanced  the design is. For every emotion on our sense of self side there is one on our sense of others and other things side. Examples are lust and greed in our sense of self are matched by love and compassion in our sense of others. If you find this confusing try  making your own list. It isn’t difficult when you accept the premise of duality.. So far I have only identified two traits that take elements from both sides. Those traits are personality and humor. No doubt there are many more. Balance is so important. Very few of us are capable of  allowing our sense of self  to become the silent partner in our duality. If you feel compelled to do a great deed, compare yourself to Mandela, Gandhi and the Dalai Lama. That is the commitment that faces you. As a species most of us are not ready for total awakening in our sense of others. I have met those who try and  bless them for placing their sense of others first but the men I mention above  all can and could interface with those of little or no sense of others and prevail. Very few of us can and surrounding ourselves in peace and refusing to contemplate negative thoughts is a total illusion unless  you have the power these men have or had over others. If everyone vowed to eliminate all mayhem from their lives, we would all be living in an ideal world. Such a world is not in our foreseeable future so  please stay balanced. There is one trait that  divides society right down the middle and, resolving it. would be a major  step in putting an end to the polarization  currently controlling  interaction between people. The trait is responsibility. Responsibility is solely a function of sense of others and other things both in how it is practiced and perceived. If you lack responsibility, you are ignoring your sense of others. If you are judging those that you perceive as lacking responsibility, you are ignoring your sense of others. Neither is right and that  is a bitter pill for both sides to swallow. If  I could wave a magic wand and suddenly swap all the new born babies between  the suburbs and  the ghetto and ten years later  observe the results, the only change would be the color of  everyone’s skin. Keep that thought when  you start to  put down the other for either lacking responsibility or being critical about  your lifestyle. Both sides need to change their point of view. Engage your sense of others and balance your mind. Evolution is adaptation by change. The permutations and combinations of  genes in a living organism are almost beyond imagination. The system is designed to try new things and some work and some don’t.   Our physical body is not very different than that of any other similar life forms like  members of the ape family.   The system that allows our sense of others to integrate with our sense of self  to form our conscious mind also adapts by change until new genetic patterns are established.   We have recently discovered that evolution happens in spurts. Periods of stability are interrupted with periods of rapid change.   We are in a period of rapid change. Many try and blame the drastic increase in conditions like ADHD on failures of our social order and disease. Because of recent research  in genetics we are discovering the human genome is experiencing an onslaught of changes. Those changes appear to be focused on the connection between our sense of others and our sense of self.   Is it God or the process of natural adaptation? That is for each of us to decide but we all need to keep an open mind and not treat the changes like we treated homosexuality in the past. There is no good or bad here. We are slowly ridding ourselves of the past prejudices of our social interactions. We need to learn from our past mistakes and approach these changes with an open mind. The job of parenting will not be easy. Children that do not conform may have real issues or they may be the products of our changing genome which will come with problems. We need serious research. Thomas Edison did not conform and his teacher said insulting things about the lads chances in this world. His mother home schooled him and the world was changed by a great inventor. What would have happened if Edison’s mother had insisted he conform to the teacher’s demands? We are all a product of the connection between our sense of others and our sense of self and our sense of self controls the connection when it wants to.   At birth the only thing present is our sense of  others and other things. The newborn has no sense of self,   leaving the other side of our conscious mind to do most of the work before our sense of self starts to take control. We call this period the terrible twos.   From that point on every factor we can conceive of is in play and how well balance is maintained will determine how a person handles puberty. In most cases, our sense of self  ignores our sense of others and other things during the years when we know everything. Considering it is our sense of  others and other things that is providing our knowledge, ability and talent it is ironic how one can be in denial of their sense of others and still know everything while their sense of self is struggling to find it’s identity.   By puberty most of us will have gained enough of all three to make it through to our adult years.   Our intelligence resides solely with  our sense of self as it  is  strictly a function of physical evolution. The question becomes does our sense of others and other things evolve also? To do so means it has to reincarnate. Does a spirit even make sense if it cannot pass from one physical life to the next? To answer that, I would have to get way off topic and I cover and will be covering that topic in other sections of this blog.   To understand   the connection between our spirit and sense of self we need reincarnation.   Each new life is a new connection. Keep in mind the term spirit only applies when our sense of others and other things is no longer connected to our sense of self due to the condition we call death. Our sense of self brings our intellectual potential. Our sense of others and other things brings ability, knowledge, talent and the resultant intuition and inspiration.   Our compassion and love and  associated emotions are products of  our sense of others. Our sense of self is driven by a sense of superiority and ownership of all that we desire. It’s associated emotions like lust for love and initiative for inspiration or intuition merge with our sense of others and other things to form our conscious mind. I have to go a little off topic here and discuss origins.   There is no mystery where our physical body and our accompanying sense of self came from. It was either created or evolved depending on ones beliefs. If we apply only science, which I certainly prefer, our physical body has evolved. Where did our spirit with its’ sense of others and other things come from? Is a new spirit created every time a new body is created and if that’s the case how does reincarnation happen?   Good questions and no one has an answer that can be proven.   Anyone who is in touch with their sense of others knows it’s there and they can easily see it in other people. Everyone can see it in the eyes of newborn children and infants.   We call them angels. There is a significant amount of evidence reincarnation happens. I believe we could prove our spirit exists if we would do some serious research. We spend millions researching minor aspects of science that will have no significant impact while we arbitrarily chose faith or the metaphysical to define our spirit. Maybe we don’t want to know the truth. Or could it be, if we prove spirit beyond any point of denial, we apparently feel we will lose any control we think we now have? I think so. That explains why we haven’t seriously tried to identify our spirit. Still no explanation of how our spirit got here.   Can a species evolve to a point where a spirit is created for the first time?    To answer that, we need to do a little reverse engineering. We know what makes up the elements of our spirit. For any species to have those elements they would have to evolve them first. That is where abilities come in. Abilities like language spoken and written, using tools to make tools and social structure indicated by an increase in life span, place our species evolving a sense of others and other things about 20 to 30 thousand years ago. Somewhere in that time frame our species evolved the capacity to develop individuality of spirit and modern day man was born. I say evolved but there are other possibilities. Maybe this new species was created by God, maybe aliens dropped us off, or maybe our spirits are eternal and a new species with the needed requirements became available. You chose. No matter the reason, we can all work together to prove we have a spirit. If you don’t believe in spirit I don’t know why you are reading this. A huge area of debate has always been what is illusion and what is reality?   Our spirit connects to all the knowledge there is. There is no illusion when it comes to our sense of others and other things which is highly ironic because we mentally depict anything associated with our sense of others as being nebulous, a ghost, a sudden chill, an astral projection, out of body or witness to heaven. All illusion is strictly a product of our sense of self. Our ego has a direct connection to our senses. Our sense of others connects to our senses through our unconscious. Take a moment and think about how you experience a feeling of anger in reference to a feeling of compassion. Which has more thought involved?   Which is connected to what you sense as you? It is that obvious. Compassion is a sense of others and is instantly felt. Anger is a sense of ourselves and usually results from a build up of conscious events or negative thoughts over time. It is far more explosive than compassion  but stress is pressure, compassion is not. I doubt anyone reading this will dispute this country is mired in polarization no matter what your political beliefs are.   An idea is a thought. If you do not allow opposing points of view to affect your thinking, your idea becomes reality and you will defend your reality until your last breath. We are social beings. We are structured to bring our ideas together and merge them into reality. When we fail to do that we end up with a mess like we have today. Is this the reality you want to live in?   Never forget, when you turn your ideas into reality, those who differ will not accept your reality and that can lead to war. What you so strongly believe is an illusion if it was not arrived at as part of a consensus. One last point regarding sense of self  versus sense of others, ideally there should be no conflict. They are supposed to work together in order to end mayhem and chaos in the universe.   We don’t always get a good connection. Sometimes there is no connection at all. If you believe some of what I have outlined here, you should know by now that evil is a sole function of sense of self. There is no Satan, and no evil force. There is only our sense of self  that is either not connected or ignoring it’s associated sense of others and other things. Yourself The one relationship  you can never escape is the one you will have with yourself from the moment you are born  until the day your physical body dies. Medical science is  rapidly increasing  the length of   the only relationship you have to come to terms with and  it is possible that future generations will see life spans of hundreds of years. If you believe in reincarnation as I do, that will someday be your lifetime.   If you do not, we  simply owe it to future generations to resolve  the problems people find themselves dealing with when  this relationship goes wrong. Currently it goes wrong in at least 25% of the people on this planet  and it appears to be increasing  despite all the research being conducted to solve it.   Let me make this perfectly clear.   There is nothing in my following hypothesis that suggests our personality is split by the fact there are two distinct areas of our conscious minds.   Just the opposite is true. Our personality is the combination of the two distinct areas of our conscious mind. All of what you are about to read  came to me as intuitive thought first. My ongoing research  into Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and the most effective way of currently dealing with it, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)  are the result of how best to present  my concepts to the  mental health world. I am convinced that  my intuition offers a new way to look at all  mental conditions and will result in new methods for treating them. I am not a person with any training in this field and I am the last person to come up with any form of treatment. I have experienced a significant increase in insight. The story is well documented in this blog and others.   This is my first excursion into using that insight to help others. I have been using my insight to help others I come in contact with. I do not seek them out. They usually come to me. I know that sounds delusional and I have discussed that possibility with others who are trained in the field. Their opinion is, if I am delusional, it is the strangest case they have ever seen.   I will let you the reader, make that decision for yourself. All I ask is you take the time to read this and think about it before casting me into the crazy pile. Before we get started think about this as you read this. You are sitting in front of your computer and suddenly the door to your home crashes in. Men dressed in black surround you and incapacitate you with physical, chemical or electrical force and drag you out of your home into a waiting vehicle and take you  to a cold damp concrete room with only the floor to lie on and a bucket in which to put your wastes. There is no schedule. You are given barely enough water and food to survive. For apparently no reason, they come in and torture you with never a word being said. There is no pattern to it. You have no idea how long this goes on because you have no way of measuring the passage of time. It seems like forever. Once again they enter the room and you prepare yourself for another round of pain and suffering but this time it’s different. A hood is thrown over your head and you are taken out of the room  thrown in a car and taken somewhere else. They throw you to the floor and leave. You struggle to free yourself and finally are able to yank off the hood. That’s when you discover you are back in your own home, There is  no explanation and you have no idea why any of it happened. Ask yourself how would you deal with it after the fact? That is what those who suffer mental illness have to deal with. The only difference is they know who the men in black are. How can this happen? It happens because  our mind is divided into two distinct areas and the communication between the two gets severed or damaged by  disease, trauma, stress, or the actions of others. When it is not working properly, our own mind becomes the men in black.   The problem with modern day mental health is they only treat one side of our conscious mind. The other side has become the property of religion, metaphysics and the paranormal.   All those things may or may not have a part to play but  the part of our conscious mind that connects to the sense of others and other things has to be working correctly or none of them will mean anything to our conscious mind as a whole.   How often in the mental health field do you hear, “ that just doesn’t work for me or my patient. ”   All our treatments today focus on the grey matter  in our brain. That grey matter is the home and kingdom of the first major component of our conscious mind, our sense of self. The second major component of our conscious mind is our sense of others and other things. The two work very differently. If our grey matter is our sense of self where  does our sense of others call home?   My hypothesis, which we could conduct experiments to prove, is the sense of others and other things resides in our brain stem. We do not  know how the mechanism works. We see the effects when it is broken but we cannot fix it for anyone until we know how the mechanism works.  That knowledge is the key to preventing many mental health conditions from becoming issues.     We do know how the grey matter works. Not as much as we need to know but there is a lot of research being done. Basically our cerebral cortex is a battery. Actions and thoughts are energy generated by chemical processes.   I  do not need to teach a course on the functioning of the main component of our sense of self. My focus is on our sense of others and how it connects to our sense of self. We assign the attributes associated with the sense of others and other things to the same part of  physical brain that is ruled by our sense of self  and we wonder why we make little or no headway in solving issues associated with our sense of others and other things. If you think we are making progress take a long look at the world we live in. Our relationships fail as much as if not more than they succeed. We fight wars for totally idiotic reasons like religion, ethnicity and nationality.   Our one sided approach to our conscious mind results in little or no research on how our conscious mind is interconnected. When it comes to our  sense of others and other things we focus on what is external to us and pay small heed to how the two main components of our conscious mind connect and share our thoughts, emotions and sensory capabilities. Up until now I have combined our sense of others with our sense of other things as they both represent  things external  to our conscious minds. There is  a distinct difference though most of the associated emotions, traits and behaviors apply. Our sense of other things is reserved for  intuitive and inspirational abilities. It opens our minds to the possibilities of all faith, philosophy and scientific study. Unfortunately our sense of other things draws attention away from how our conscious mind functions and focuses the understanding we all seek on religion, the metaphysical and the paranormal.  There are benefits to focusing on other things not associated with our conscious mind. First they are all capable of healing  the damage in our spirit connection depending on how the damage was caused. In the case of substance abuse, the damage comes from the ego side of our conscious mind. For those  subjected to the abuse of others the damage comes from outside themselves. There are conditions that cannot be healed by applying the concepts of other things and anyone who says they can heal all conditions with their belief system might as well torture those who cannot respond  to healing from faith or the ethereal sense of spirit. Those who treat only our sense of self are no different. The use drugs and therapies that give mixed results and  convince themselves, that helping a few is helping everyone.   All anyone has to do is step back and look at the results from either side and  it is blatantly obvious there is no  one magic bullet  when it comes to treating mental disease.   If  I go to the doctor for a cut finger and  he/she puts a band aid on my toe they have used the proper  item in the wrong place. That defines where mental health care is in the world today. They do get the band aid on the finger sometimes but far to often it ends up on the toe. Any medical doctor will tell you its all in the proper diagnosis. How can we diagnose mental illness when we are only look at one side of the patient? There are some dedicated, highly intuitive spiritual healers in this world. but  they should never forget the oath all healers must live by, Do No Harm.     So how does this sense of self and sense of others and other things work ? The clown in me wants to say, “ not very well” which brings up a point. Personality and humor are two of the things I have come up with that are shared equally between the two major components of our conscious mind.. Our sense of others and other things  is always out for what’s best for us and seeks to protect us but our sense of self is always  in the drivers seat. Nothing happens that it doesn’t want  to let happen. Every person who has been hypnotized proves our sense  of self is always in command..    This section is all about figuring out yourself and I believe I have come up with a tool to do that. All  you need is lined notebook paper, I prefer 8×11, and a pencil and an eraser when you do change your mind and you will a number of times if you are being honest with yourself.   As in all tests of this nature honesty is mandatory. If you are not honest the only person you will cheat is yourself and you will have wasted your time. With pencil in hand start listing every possible trait, emotion and behavior you can think of. If it helps, number them. One of the things I have found that helps is most things have an opposite state. If you write optimism the next logical thing would be pessimism so go ahead and add these to your list. I will address these two after you are done. Keep in mind emotions like love cover a whole range of sub emotions so break any emotion, trait or behavior down where you can. Think of every emotion, trait and behavior you can and write it down along with the opposite if there is one. Take some time to do this. If your list seems short to you put a line under the one you are stuck on and read up on human emotions, traits and behaviors. If it takes you a month to make this list, take a month. Some of you are no doubt saying. “ Why doesn’t this lazy so and so give us a list? Why do we have to do all the work? ” My answer, “ It’s your list! ”  Remember that line you drew where you got stuck? That line is going to tell you if there is any change after you had to look up emotions, traits and behaviors. My hypothesis is you will not forget the ones that are more important to you. Once you hit the line there is one other thing you need to do.   Don’t think of your emotions alone. Think of the emotions, traits and behaviors of other people before you resort to the books for further information. Once you have exhausted the emotions, traits and behaviors of others (Do not duplicate any you had listed for your self) draw another line. Now hit the books and add as many as you can find even if they disgust you and it is not an emotion, trait or behavior you have ever felt or something you would never do. Examples are worship, idolize etc etc.   You cannot write too many. You can write too few. If your list seems short make sure boredom is on it along with impatience.   It is important you make this list as long as you can and it is equally important neither I nor no one else creates it for you. It is your list. DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE UNTIL YOUR LIST IS COMPLETED! The reason I said the above is you are among the first to do this. Those who do it in the future will have  some knowledge of why  they are performing this exercise.   Those of you who do this for the first time with no knowledge of why, set the  evaluation criteria for those who will have some knowledge why  this exercise is necessary. So for the last time, are you sure your list is complete? Once your list is finished it is time to set the criteria. For the purposes of this test we will assume the following conditions: First our conscious mind is divided into two distinct parts, our sense of self and our sense of others and other things . Our ego is a part our sense of self and our  spirit encompasses our sense of others and other things. Second our sense of self can set all the rules and ignore the other side of our consciousness. Third assume your sense of other things or spirit has two ends. One connects to  a higher plane that could represent, God, the Hall of Records, multiple universes or aliens. It does not matter what the other end of it connects to. It is the end that integrates with our sense of self we are testing. After each emotion, trait or behavior you will select  either 1 for sense of self, 2 for sense of others and other things or 3 for both. I find the easiest way to do this is  place 3 bubbles to the right of  each emotion, trait or behavior representing three different columns with the first being 1, the second 2 and the third 3.   Just fill in the right bubble. This is  not always easy. Emotions, traits and behaviors are not always straight forward so your initial response  may not be right. Think about your answers. For example, if we take optimism and pessimism, two obvious opposites, it may not be intuitive that optimism is a function of sense of self and pessimism is a function of sense of others and other things.   Our sense of self tries to tell us reckless behavior is worth the risk and nothing will happen. Our sense of others and other things seeks to protect us and keep us from making foolish mistakes.    You really need to focus on each one. Comparing two opposites makes the task easier. Another example is happy and sad.   I drew a blank when I first thought of the two.   I didn’t know which side of my conscious mind was associated with either.   My conclusion is happy is a sense of self and sad is a sense of others and other things. Obviously the sense of either state of your conscious mind is always  conditional. Taking this test may make you  bored. That is not the issue. The issue is, is boredom associated with a sense of self or a sense of others or other things? What about checking both or 3?   If you are a very well adjusted person there will be a lot of both’s but the bottom line here is most of us are not well adjusted people so please be honest with yourself. There are a few easily spotted both’s. They are not always shared equally but they come with their own set of responsive behavior. Two of those I believe are fear and harmony.   It is easy to get a sense of self and others for both. Both respond  with unique differences. When fear comes from our sense of self it can be illusional.     On the other side it comes from our sense of others and other things and is always real. The same holds true for harmony.   If this exercise  has been boring until, now it should be  starting to excite you. You are starting to understand how your mind works.   When you have completed the test there is one more thing you need to do. Instead of assuming our conscious mind is a combination of a sense of self and a sense of others and other things, think of it as a proven fact.   If you remain content with your answers knowing your conscious mind is a duality, do not change any of your answers.   If you are not content write 1, 2 or 3 after  your original answer. Do not erase your original answer. Most of you  are probably thinking, ” Well that was a lot of work now what?”   First you need to  add up the number of traits, behaviors and emotions you came up with. Next you need to  add up how many  you thought of when you only considered your self, how many you thought of when you considered the same things  in others and how many you had to look up. Then you total  the three columns in each  group and total them all. Keep in mind you are a beta tester  and the  this will all have to be entered into a data base before we can come to more detailed conclusions. The magic word here is balance but balance between what? It is my hypothesis that there are two basic mindsets  in our species. The perfect people  among us, rare as  I believe they are, are in balance  though they still have two separate mindsets, Those in balance  process all  any of us can think or feel equally no matter  which mindset they  get input from. In the first mindset a person must be physically stimulated before becoming mentally stimulated. In the second mindset a person must be mentally stimulated  before becoming physically stimulated.   As in all things, there are permutations and combinations  of both mindsets but one mindset will be prevalent in all but the rare individual. It is my hypothesis,   when people who marry someone who does not align with their mindset, their marriage will probably end in divorce.    Since there are two states of mindset, the divorce rate  supports my hypothesis. The test you just took will help you identify whether you are a physical/mental person or a mental/physical person. For physical  we can substitute sense of self. For mental we can substitute sense of others and other things.. If you answered both you are balanced for that one trait, emotion or behavior.   If you are getting serious with another person  you need to know what their leading mindset is. If it does not match yours,   your relationship will always be a struggle and you will end up wondering why it is so easy for some other couple to  get along and you and your spouse can’t. Those who score the highest on either mindset need to be with a like minded person. What happens if we fall in love with someone who is our opposite?   The first factor  will be how different? I believe this test will  one day measure the degree of  both mindsets.   It will take gathering a lot of data before we can analyze ways to quantize differences and devise  treatments. In the interim  look for someone like your self. If this is split right down the middle, half the population is the same as you are with varying degrees,   If you test  close to each other look at the traits, emotions  and behaviors where you differ and discuss them  so that you can arrive at a consensus. One thing  you should have noticed. There are no good or bad scores here. The test simply identifies your mindset.   Two highly physical mindsets  would no doubt be   difficult  to be around but they would be happy with each other. I totally believe this exercise can benefit every person who decides to take it. This test will not fix anyone with serious mental issues. I believe it will facilitate the field of mental health in coming up with more effective treatments for  many problems  that remain difficult  to resolve. First of all I need to identify the goal.   As in all things balance is the goal. The individual with  excellent mental health is so well balanced that their sense of self and sense of others and other things merge and conflict between the two is minimal at worst and non existent at best. I believe this is a rare state. If you need examples the Dalai Lama, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela come to mind.      If you are a mental health professional you should have at least an inkling of  how this approach can be both a benefit  to you and your patients.   There is an initial fear that using the approach tends to make all of us schizophrenic but look at the world we live in. Our religions, politics, ideas , customs, etc etc divide us. If we are not all schizophrenic, the way we all tend to live our lives is and I defy anyone to show me the difference. If you don’t identify the problem you can’t treat it. The two major components of our conscious mind may live and die with the body. I don’t believe that but I nor or anyone else can discount the possibility until we have used the scientific method  to prove our sense of others and other things comes from our spirit alone. Let’s assume I am right and our spirit is a particle with no mass at rest  somewhere in our brain stem. Assume our spirit contains our sense of others and other things.   Treating the cerebral cortex for  all mental issues is putting  the band aid for the cut finger on the toe for some of them. The spirit is not in question here. It is non corruptible but the connection isn’t and that connection is in the brain stem and all that the spirit is, is passed through the unconscious and into our conscious mind. Substitute subconscious for unconscious and I can hear Freud flopping around in his casket with glee as I say this. He did have half an answer. Modern day psychiatry has half an answer. It is time to put the two together and start working with the whole answer. The answer is balance. The problems become obvious when only sense of self is running the show. Personal gain, insensitivity and even holocaust happen. In Disney World there is a ride that features the adventures of Nemo, a story of a cute little fish that travels the world looking for his lost son. As you walk into the ride you are surrounded by walls of rocks, piers, the sea and a lot of seagulls. The seagulls only know one word, “ Mine! ” It is the world we live in. So surely the answer must be turning to our spirit, put it in charge and all will be well in the world. It sounds good. It even feels good  but I call it bubbling up. In the popular on line game “ World of Warcraft” some characters have the ability to “ bubble up” and put a protective shield around themselves. Nothing can damage them while they are in their bubble. Of course there is a problem, actually two problems. The bubble never lasts as long as the battle and it has a cool down so you can only use it once unless it is a very long battle. Replace that battle with life. If we eliminate every last vestige of mayhem from this planet we will still have to deal with chaos. Your spirit bubble is going to run out when you need it the most. Balance people, balance in all things. In a world controlled by the ego of individuals, evil is not only possible, it often rules the day. If you could ask 6 million Jews and gypsies they would tell you. The only evil in the world exists solely in the minds