Revising for unity

Unity Analysis Affiliation Narrative Well, bullies usually feel good about their actions while the victims on the other hand are tied in the beliefs that they cannot escape this fate/bullying. I came to believe that this is what keeps bullying going at school and in other environments. While interventions are great, I know from my experience that bullies are tied to social groups that crown these bullies with dominance and success. The society at large also believes in aggressive and controversial maneuvers as ways of achieving dominance and success. I believe that despite this, it is possible to end bullying. The best way to do this is to make bullies aware of their aggressive actions, and the pain the actions cause on their peers. In addition, victims should also be encouraged and made aware that change can always happen.
2) Change in the bullying culture can be spearheaded by all of us. Even fourth graders can do it. Parents too can take part in effecting this change. We can all partner and promote campaigns against bullying. These campaigns can allow kids and even adults who have once undergone bullying in their lives or are undergoing bullying to tell their stories so as to create awareness to everyone on the damaging effects of bullying, thus encourage them into taking action against this act. Young people can also hold meet ups and discuss the impact of bullying, as well as create more solutions to bullying.
3) The solution to bullying is a community wide thing. In fact, blaming bullies or being on their necks is not the way out of this problem. The society needs to be one; it needs to be a united agent of change if society is going to change. I understand that bullying is traumatizing from my personal experience, and I took it upon me to spread the word to parents and other students, who would help intervene and stop bullying in schools. I am part of the agents of change.
Unity analysis
The essay aims at sensitizing people on the harmful effect of bullying. In America, Bullying is a rampant problem in schools and thus it needs to be taken seriously. The effects of bullying in most instances are detrimental to the development of the victim. Usually, after experiencing bullying, the victim’s self-esteem tends to diminish greatly. As such, I want my readers to understand and learn that bullying is a serious vice which should be discouraged and eliminated from the American school system since it leaves the victim (like me) scarred both emotionally, psychologically and physically for life.
Each of the paragraph sentences relate to the paragraph’s topic. Therefore, no sentence has to be deleted or moved. For instance, paragraph 1 sentences explain the feeling bullies derive from their actions. They (sentences) also acknowledge that bullying is encouraged by the victim’s sense of hopelessness and the society’s love for aggressive behavior. Paragraph 2 sentences on the other hand focus on stating that to change the bullying culture in schools, all stakeholders should be involved. Paragraph 3 is a conclusion of the essay. The sentences relate to the paragraph topic of being agents of change.
The three paragraphs support the main point of the paper by tackling various concepts related to bullying. The first paragraph focuses on the feelings of both the bully and the victim. And also what motivates people to become bullies. The second paragraph shows the people who can discourage or fight the vice while the third paragraph revolves around the cliché ‘ change starts with me’. Thus, all the three paragraphs support the main topic of the paper.
The sentences and ideas are clearly linked. However, I added (in fact) in the third paragraph for better clarity.
The school system should pass laws that stipulate stiff and heavy penalties or punishment on bullies. Also, American schools should hire counselors who should attend to students who have been bullied at school. Lastly, it is vital to acknowledge and point out that the effects of bullying can last for a very long time before they finally end or the victim recovers.